Movie Poster from Get Out (subject to copyright) used for educational purposes only without permission linked from Google Images

*Mad Spoilers Ahead*

2017’s unforgettable psychological suspense thriller brought to us by, Jordan Peele, (of the famed Comedy Central duo, Key and Peele), creeping behind the scenes of the big screen to make racial tensions even higher with Get Out.

I don’t want to put a bunch of spoilers out there but after watching this movie, I have come to realize some unpleasant things about myself. I was edgy and untrusting before watching but now?? Please understand something, as a woman of color, if I see you reaching for a tea cup, figuratively or literally, I may judo chop you in the neck and back away slowly while maintaining direct eye contact. Why, you may ask yourself, (which would be well within reason)? Life has changed, let’s be real, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life, homie. You could be buttering me up to lull me into some undead, soulless hollow existence from which there is no escape on some Skeleton Key type shit. Flattery of any sort will get you nut punched into submission, my good man, don’t test me.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, before we can even get into the woke af plot, I am gonna have to speak on that theme song that played during the credits. Wtf, dude.

Had I caught this flick in the movie theater, instead of online, I would have hopped my ass right back to the ticket counter for a refund once that sucker started playing.

Like some drunken sea ditty being belched up from Davy Jones’ infamous locker, the warbling tins on, with a demented undead ship mate whispering “Senorita” between unintelligible pants and groans of the melody, the tone was (in short) creepy af, man! If I was in the creative process room when they wrote this song, I would have smudged with sage and threw holy water on whoever was torturing the poor pipe organ.

Peele uses nails-on-chalk-board suspense techniques unseen since the likes of Hitchcock and M. Night Shaylaman, his Get Out’s intense hypnotic pull on your sense of political correctness will probably have you turning off the television for months to come. Just in case some lights flash and you need to think fast before you ease on down in a sunken place. (Wink!)

British born actor, Daniel Kaluuya, plays the ever credulous protagonist, Chris, to his icy screen siren costar. With fresh from HBO’s Girls fame, Allison Williams, their scripted romance reads like a common tale of interracial dating types, in this case, the corner boy from Bedstuy fell hard for the white chick he bumped into outside a Bodega off campus. He’s ready to wife her down over those undulating politically views and her extensive ability to take detailed African American studies notes.

How many times has Hollywood paired the juicy dark skin melanin king, with his opposite, the green smoothie drinking, yogi for “balance” Preppy type, who in turn invites him home to meet her parents for the weekend, because after all, Obama was president, so, what could go wrong?

Get Out is every interracial relationship taboo stretched across 141 minutes of nail biting torment that will have you suspicious of “bleeding heart liberal” or “hard line conservative” types for months.

I’m a need to go bump some #EdSheerhan before I feel comfortable not automatically kneeing someone in the balls if they offer new chemical free techniques to quit smoking or compliment my bone structure in clipped tones of unabashed appreciation.

This movie is like a condensed version of a Black College Humor board on a HBCU campus, meant to shake up everyone’s sense of racial familiarity, without the nice soft landing of a plot twist at the end. Nope.

In the end, shit got handled, and now, I am going to need three feet of space and at least 5 live social media feeds going, before I met anyone, anywhere near an afluent suburb for a beverage that requires stirring. Thanks alot, Peele.

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